THE PREJUDGEMENTAL prejudice I live my life and try not to judge other people. Each person is unique and how they choose to cope with their problems, memories, emotions, realities, delusions and mistakes... We all have our escape mechanisms and no person is better or worse than the other. WE are all equal human beings fighting to live our lives in the best possible way with the tools given to us by our parents, upbringing, society, education, nationality and so on... But the reality is that we all come from the same place and we are all going to the same place in the end. We don't know everything that there is to know about life and how to live our lives. No one has the right to pre judge another person for their choices or lack of choices. So I live my life and try to be good, kind, do a good action a day, give my daughter all the best education and possibilities...And not to judge other people for their choices. Assuming others will do the same, I try not to change others and respect their preferences, choices and quirks. To pre judge someone is to judge another person before knowing all that there is to know about what motivates that person to act. It's to judge before the action has taken place and therefore it is prejudice right? So I live my life and am happy with it... chose to use my free will and do no harm to others !! What else is there? Oh yes, I believe in fairies and miracles!!! If a person likes me it's for who I am and won't try to change the way I am...
No one told me when I got pregnant that the journey would have no end No one told me that there would be days when I would feel so tired I would not be sure I could do it And certainly, no one has told me that it would get harder and harder each day... Maybe I heard it from my mother during my own upbringing but then I would say my favourite sentence "I did not ask to be born" During my pregnancy something very strange happened to me called sharing, being an only child, only niece and granddaughter from both mother and father I had to share my body and attention from those around me. Even so I became a lioness ready to kill anyone who dared cross my way to financial security and the fridge included. Then my mindset was that I wouldn't give up my life to end up like one of those frustrated parents who live their lives through their children. There would be certain limits to my love so that I would never have to suffer rejection or abandon. I was quite enough that my baby was like a demanding parasite inside me. I loved my baby, don't get me wrong, but I wanted it to be born soon for the nightmare to be over. Every day I would look accusingly at my husband and say I would never do it again, NEVER! Then the day finally came, one week earlier, the water broke,and off we went to the hospital. During the procedures I would tell my doctor three things 1)"Give me drugs" 2)"Take note of the time so that I can do her birth chart" and 3) "Sew it properly because I don't want "two tummies"". And it was all a bit fuzzy but the real fear was for my husband not to pass out since his colour was greenish grey by then... And She came then and when I looked at her so small (small for me, she was a big baby) and vulnerable crying and wrapped up like a little bundle. They put her in my arms; she rubbed her perfect little nose in my neck and stopped crying. I could see sunshine and hearts radiating out of her and what I said then was ironically hilarious for I looked at my husband and said "I love her so much, let's have another one?" One could delegate the origin of such words to oxytocin but after that my love kept growing for that little being who needed me so much that I felt suffocated and trapped many times. But I would give my life for her there, here and forever. I understand my mother better today and respect her so much more. What a great mother she is. Thank you mom for putting up with me and my tantrums, for teaching me everything I know about a lot and finally thank you mom for all the love and sacrifices only a mother would do. Every mother should get a gold medal for patience, stamina,pain and torture endurance, lack of sleep world records are beaten every day in rooms all over the world... And We will never know... I honour you mother today, yesterday, tomorrow and forever...
SUNSHINE IN MY HEART
For mother's day in Uk my husband and three years old daughter started a project for the garden planting sunflower seeds and salad, tomatoes, fennel,basil and flowers. On the last day in nursery the project in school was a sunflower vase (allegedly with a sunflower seed in it) and only a mother could realize that there would be no bulb there so what we did, me and husband, in the middle of the night was transport one of the previously planted seeds to my daughter's school project before mother's day. It became a tradition here for mother's day I always get bulbs of my favourite flowers and they plant it together growing during the summer ! Sunshine to everyone it's what I am wishing to all of you!
What would you do if you had a time machine?
Do you remember that movie with Christopher Reeves where he wanted to meet a girl he saw on a photograph and he dressed himself with clothes from the time and kept repeating time and time again until he met her? Do you believe that all your dreams can become true if you believe they will? Have you ever wondered why is it that some people have it all and some don’t? Why are some born with so much and others with nothing? Is the whole theory of life after death true and if it is would that justify our actions here on this life? Is personality a product of our environment or our DNA? Why? Why? Why? If life is a loop then death is what? Do you believe in “an eye for an eye”?
All I know is that since I was really small I have always had this pain and compassion that made me cry and feel guilty for seeing an old person suffering. Sensibility comes with a price, being born in a good family and out of love comes with a price. More than once I was told my soul was ancient and what does that mean? When I was really small I used to go and sleep at my grandmother’s home and in her bed sometimes. She was really catholic with a portrait of Sacred Heart of JESUS in front of her bed and once I dreamt he was extending his arms and looking at me offering his heart to me. Years later I used to dream all the time I was flying and then one day during a very hard time in my life I dreamt about a saint that unties knots and I had a little pray with her image in a flyer I got on the streets and as I was falling asleep there was this feeling of cold fear and a bad presence around me that in my semi-asleep condition made my light shade shake then she came to me the saint that unties the knots and she was doing it for me and for my life giving me reassurance that whatever problems I was facing they would be resolved.
When my father died it was unexpected one day he was here and the next he wasn’t and I saw him die of a heart attack. Ten years later I used to dream we met in a greenish blue hotel room and he was never dead he was just traveling around the world. I used to say to him in my dreams “Why didn’t you tell me? I have so much to tell you!” and the only thing that was clear to me was that he was aware of what was important in my life and he loved me so much but he needed to continue with his journey. Many dreams I’ve had in my life that warned or reassured me.
So my belief is that we are all energy, pure energy and energy can be light or the lack of light creating the dark holes and yes there are good and there are bad people as there is light and darkness we are all little children when it comes to understanding who and why are we here in this planet.
Have you ever felt unprotected and vulnerable? Have you ever felt rage for being the victim of injustices? I did felt like this a few times and that’s where Nicolau Maquiavel became one of my best friends. Revenge is a plate that has to be eaten cold but for me it has always been a delicious CARPACCIO well made. When I felt injustice was made to me the thought was about velvet gloves and being as good as I could for an eye for an eye exists but not by paying on the same coin but a coin made of platinum with diamonds. In reality by the time you are eating that delicious CARPACCIO you are so entranced in to your self- improvement and in procuring the reality of your dreams that whoever is feeling the pain of the velvet glove is left behind in light years.
Recurring to my earlier questions which some have been answered to my best capabilities and others are not suitable for a mere human being to answer. For me to answer those questions I would need to be GOD or die and my soul intents to live life to the full. This ancient soul of mine intents to live the birth of dreams and goals and the path walked to reach them and then more dreams and goals… The loop is here and now, every day when you awake to life there is a choice to be made: FACE IT AS A MIRACLE OR JUST ONE MORE DAY, IT’S YOUR CHOICE WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?