I am so scared!!!
I don’t know if you remember the stone cottage I bought at auction and I was euphoric at the time but as reality sets I am so frightened… The plan is to move our home then finish the cottage and sell it again and it’s a great plan. We decided we needed to do things that would take us out of our comfort zone while we are not too old ( and isn’t life all about changes and facing your fears, get out of your comfort zone and live?).
Sometimes I feel like I am carrying the world and balancing between two gigantic buildings in New York on top of a thin line … AHHHAHHH
I have moved countries with a tiny baby for goodness sakes !!! I have moved out of my comfort zone the moment I was born and I have felt like this before, maybe it’s age or maybe it’s because I did my home with love and it’s difficult to just let go… The situation is not bad and I am privileged to own two beautiful homes at the moment, I am a lucky b…ee… if you know what I mean? But that is so scary …
We are all tired and now I am reminded about a nightmare I have sometimes .. We are couples and we have to dance until the last one standing wins but hey?! It’s not a nightmare but reality disguised in caricatures of enhanced realities. And in life, sometimes, while living it you think it’s hard but it does pass and on tomorrow’s yesterday this memory will be a happy memory since I will have faced my fears already and will look for more challenges. The moment we stop challenging our comfort zone is the day we die and so that’s where I am in life at the moment.
Have a nice week and think about it… We build a perfect life and get comfortable, where we go from there it’s what distinguish us as eternal beauties or statues.
©copyrights Sybil Schon -www.unfocusedsecretbeautee.com
Being an only child you get used to moments of complete introspection and sometimes complete loneliness plus that combined with my total lack of abilities to any sort of sports led me to make an extreme effort on the social behaviour bordering my instincts to become tainted for I remember feeling so different in my tastes, I remember trying really hard to pretend to be normal and slightly dumb because I needed to fit in and maybe I tried so hard I lost my weirdness that made me so UNIQUE , that was the source of all my light. I loved reading good and intelligent books for days, watching cult movies and the reality is that … -OH GOD ALMIGHTY- it dawned on me again another epiphany and I was shocked with realizing that all those Science fiction books and movies based on a different reality usually set on the future were reality. We are ZOMBIES completely brainwashed to follow the fashion, work to spend our money in Shit We do not need and not question anything. It must be difficult to maintain order of wild free thinking beasts like us mortal defective Human beings. So the plan for the order is We all look the same, weight the same, better if We do it on a sub nutrition kind of way for We are destroying trees and you know? Ecosystem and all that so the resources once abundant were now not enough. We don’t read good books anymore, they are available for purchase but only very few still read them, people like to take those distasteful tablets that lack the beauty and comforting company a book gives because of course the tablets a smaller and easy to carry around but I thought the good thing was to spend time inside that amazing world that is a book. There is magic in the pages of a well worn book and without it the word book doesn’t exist anymore. So We don’t read books not because they are not available anymore but because our life style became as fast as the speed of our broadband connection- Who needs to study these days or call an specialist when you can do it all by yourself and learn it at two in the morning if desired so? With one advantage, saving money. We are addicted, junkies of technology and virtual realities, I don’t need to be nice to any person, I have my friends from facebook that I don’t see for how long? 15 or 25 years and then I finally wake up and scold myself again for I AM LATE AGAIN- need to go to my “semi- alive” reality.