Million dollar baby without the boxing ...
There are so many things I have always wanted to do and never got the chance to, places I would like to go, that patchwork quilt made of all the fabric I keep stuffed everywhere in the house. In fact if I start to think about it critically about myself it will be torture so what I do is think about that movie, yeah THAT MOVIE GIVES ME COMFORT because in “Million Dollar Baby” the girl is 30 plus years old and she has a dream and goes after it with all that she has even against all odds she goes for the coach she wants but he spends the whole movie saying she is too old and just starting so she has no chance. Ok I admit it that the end is sad but even then it’s an inspiring movie because it makes me value life and accept the age I am now, gives me hope because she proves they were wrong to put her down, she makes herself be admired and loved by the coach and by love I mean fraternal love. I haven't made it clear until now that I don’t want to become a professional boxer and never had career ambitions. In fact today, apart from one stone over my mental images, I pretty much achieved all of my childhood dreams and mental images of how my life would be.
Being an only child you get used to moments of complete introspection and sometimes complete loneliness plus that combined with my total lack of abilities to any sort of sports led me to make an extreme effort on the social behaviour bordering my instincts to become tainted for I remember feeling so different in my tastes, I remember trying really hard to pretend to be normal and slightly dumb because I needed to fit in and maybe I tried so hard I lost my weirdness that made me so UNIQUE , that was the source of all my light. I loved reading good and intelligent books for days, watching cult movies and the reality is that … -OH GOD ALMIGHTY- it dawned on me again another epiphany and I was shocked with realizing that all those Science fiction books and movies based on a different reality usually set on the future were reality. We are ZOMBIES completely brainwashed to follow the fashion, work to spend our money in Shit We do not need and not question anything. It must be difficult to maintain order of wild free thinking beasts like us mortal defective Human beings. So the plan for the order is We all look the same, weight the same, better if We do it on a sub nutrition kind of way for We are destroying trees and you know? Ecosystem and all that so the resources once abundant were now not enough. We don’t read good books anymore, they are available for purchase but only very few still read them, people like to take those distasteful tablets that lack the beauty and comforting company a book gives because of course the tablets a smaller and easy to carry around but I thought the good thing was to spend time inside that amazing world that is a book. There is magic in the pages of a well worn book and without it the word book doesn’t exist anymore. So We don’t read books not because they are not available anymore but because our life style became as fast as the speed of our broadband connection- Who needs to study these days or call an specialist when you can do it all by yourself and learn it at two in the morning if desired so? With one advantage, saving money. We are addicted, junkies of technology and virtual realities, I don’t need to be nice to any person, I have my friends from facebook that I don’t see for how long? 15 or 25 years and then I finally wake up and scold myself again for I AM LATE AGAIN- need to go to my “semi- alive” reality.